Friendship Lost

Have you ever wondered what happened between you and that close friend you had years ago? Why do you rarely talk to that person any more, if at all? What went wrong? Well, there's a couple of things to consider here.

First of all, have you looked in the mirror? Many of us do, in fact, evaluate ourselves when we start to lose grasp on a valued friendship but do we really evaluate ourselves properly as far as being good friends. Am I treating this person in a way that I would want a friend to treat me? Have I been there for that person in his or her time of need when a REAL excuse didn't exist? Have I attempted to be a positive influence in his or her life despite the existence of negativity and adversity in my own life? If the answer to any of these questions is "no", you probably have not been a good friend lately.

Second, friendship is a two way street. Now you should examine the other person even if you find fault with yourself. It's possible that he or she is guilty of not being a good friend as well. As with any good relationship, each person should put energy into it or it will get imbalanced and dissolve. Ask yourself all the questions about your old friend that you asked about yourself. If your answer to any question is "no", the same thing applies. Although it should be obvious after asking yourself all these questions, also ask if this person ONLY contacts you to ask a favor and doesn't seem genuinely interested in how you are doing.

If you truly value your friendship, you should make changes if needed with yourself. If your old friend seems to not be upholding his or her half of the friendship, you should address them about it even if it is a little uncomfortable and awkward. You don't want to have regrets about your effort in saving the relationship in the future even if it couldn't be salvaged. Life is short.

Besides the length of life, there is one other aspect of life that is certain and that is change. Unfortunately that means that some friendships won't stand the test of time no matter the effort put into them. Friends sometimes simply grow apart primarily due to changes in interests, locations, careers, and family life.