The Will

Sometimes....hold on...correction....most of the time, we are our own worse enemies. How many times have you wanted to try something fun or strive for a higher level in life and you were convinced not to do so without anyone else saying a word to you? How many times have you called yourself a failure when everyone else around you has told you repeatedly that your mistake was not a big deal? If you are like me, this may have happened more times than you could count.


But let me share a little secret to this self-doubt that you may already know - if something is valuable and highly desired, you should NEVER give up. Of all the countless advice my grandma ever shared with me, one of them in particular probably shaped the man I am more than anything else. Her advice is simply "Give out but never give up". To me, what this means is in this life you can expect to fall down several times. No one on God's green earth is exempt from it. But the thing that ultimately separates the winners from the losers is the will to get back up each time until getting up either is impossible, no longer aligns with other goals, or completely becomes destructive to oneself. Will you let fairness and misfortune direct your life or will you keep standing up and achieve greatness?

Image: Sun Behind the Clouds via jasondelph.com

Prioritizing Health

So I went to have my blood pressure, weight, and body mass index taken at work today.  Before I walked in I had an idea of what the situation would be because I had already knew I was going to make this post to my blog.  The reason I did go in is because I needed concrete numbers and I needed to face reality.  The reality is that I have not been taking care of myself properly - improper diet, lack of exercise, and lack of proper rest. 

My weight is about 60 lbs above what it was in high school.  Anyone who knew me in high school knows that I needed at least 30 of those lbs. to fill in my rather skinny frame (lol).  But now according to my body mass index (BMI), my weight is in the overweight range.  Anyone who knows about this number knows that it can be very inaccurate because it doesn't take into account different body types. But in my case, I know that it was dead on because of my aforementioned habits and the area of fat around my abdominen where a very visible 6 pack formerly resided.  As far as blood pressure, I had done a few things just before I came in for my reading that would negatively influence the numbers but it had been a little high during a previous check and my habits had not changed much.

I cannot hide from my reflection in the mirror. I cannot hide from the effects of being overweight which can negatively affect some things that no man ever wants to hear.  And I cannot hide from the deadly effects of high blood pressure which can lead to 2 of the top 3 causes of death in the US, heart disease and stroke.  And it doesn't  discriminate based on age as evidenced by some of the deaths of popular young celebrities.

The bottom line is this:  I have to make conscious health changes in my life.  I owe it to my wife, my children, and most importantly MYSELF.  Someone once said "You can't do things the same way and expect different results".  So what will I do differently and what can you do differently if you are in a similar boat?  In my experience (from being in better shape at one point in time), the most important thing really is diet.  Diet is not a fad that lasts 2 weeks; it is a pattern of healthy eating that you intend to follow to promote a healthy lifestyle for the rest of your life and affects you both physically and mentally. The next important thing is physical exercise.  You don't need a lot of time really devoted to physical exercise.  You just need to make the time that you have count, meaning that you make sure your workout is challenging, and work out at least 3 times a week. Rest is something a lot of us need more of but it is typically undervalued.  However, it does affect you physically and mentally as well.

I plan to give an update and more details about every 3 weeks on the progress I have made as far as lowering my weight and blood pressure (when available).  If you like this post, please leave a comment below and you can always follow me @naivevoice.

Image: Nutty Professor via Chud.com

Drowning in Career Comfort

Are you happy with what you do to earn a living?  Before you quickly answer yes, I did not ask if you were comfortable with the amount of money that you make or if you felt comfortable in knowing you could do your job.  Those are the things that many people associate with happiness.    But you definitely won't see happiness on the shelves at Walmart or Target (although they would try to sell it if they could) and it will not fall from the sky and on your head as you sit in traffic during your commute each day.  Real career happiness cannot simply be achieved when one's income reaches a certain level or when one finds something that he can do well although both do factor into job satisfaction.

This is a question that I ask myself to determine whether or not I am REALLY happy with my job and career:  Do I enjoy going to work and being there at least 80% of the time (4 out of every 5 work days)?  If you want to find a career like this and be successful, it's almost a definite that you will have to endure a great deal of sacrifice or discomfort at the beginning and possibly on quite a few intervals throughout.  I am not at this point in my career but I am working toward it.

Too many times we approach our lives and careers with trepidation.  We seek conventional and familiar patterns so there are little to no unknowns.  We see it as one less thing to be concerned or worried about in this crazy, sometimes chaotic world.  The problem with getting too comfortable is all our potential goes to waste and we are stuck with woulda, coulda, and shouldas in old age.  I encourage everyone to seek out real career happiness and get out of your comfort zone for at least a little bit.  I'm not telling anyone to quit their day job immediately and attempt to start the next Google. But make a good plan to do something that you think will make you happy and carry it out properly.  You don't want to wake up one day and realize you've spent 25 years at a job that made you miserable because you were simply afraid or too lazy to reach for something greater.  That is my desire and I hope it is your desire as well.

Image: Drowning Hand via NationalMortgageProfessional.com

The Boundary of Competition

Competition is the basis of success for a capitalist nation such as the United States (assuming we ignore the past 5 or 6 years).  Competition allows us to find motivation when there is none.  Competition is fun and engaging when you aren't being pummeled by your opponent. But....is competition really healthy among friends?

When two or more friends enter competition, it starts off as exactly that "friendly" competition but things can quickly change when lines aren't drawn.  By this mean, everybody has to have their own hobby, talent, or goal that they covet and that is unique to them.  When someone tries to engage in competition in areas that they have previously shown no interest in just to outdo a friend, the relationship might start to enter into hostile territory.  Sometimes this behavior can be an accident and can be simply from the habit of competing but other times it is no accident and it can be done in an attempt to belittle another's accomplishments.  This can be a sign of low-self esteem.

While it may seem for the moment that belittling someone else might boost your self-esteem, it really doesn't.  It's just like when a woman retreats to Ben n Jerry after a bad breakup.  After the sugar high subsides, the pain will return like a bad check.  Not only will the self-esteem issues resurface, they will do so with a vengeance.  This is because happiness can only be found through one's own deep down desires and not the desires of someone else mimicked in competition.