Digital Relationships

This might seem like it is obvious already but Facebook does allow you to communicate with real people in virtually real time.  Many people, however, don't realize that it's real consequences to what they post on Facebook and also that real relationships affect online ones.

There's a ton of people on Facebook these days - over 800 million active users.  With the privacy options on Facebook, some might actually think that they have total control over who sees their posts on any given day.  This is simply not the truth.  What happens when you make a "drunken" post on FB where you post a picture of yourself half naked with a ridiculous sombrero on your head or you make some idiotic statement where you are using profanity on a close relative.  You think to yourself the next morning that it's not that bad because you are only set to share your posts and information with a small circle of FB friends.  There's one problem:  your friends have friends and those friends have friends and so on.  Because of the way FB is structured, information is indirectly passed around constantly whether someone in your FB friend circle volunteers it or not.  It's pretty easy to see how a post deemed as harmless can go just about viral.  Assuming they have FB accounts, you are more than likely indirectly connected to your parents, your college professors, your church pastor, and even potential employers.  So that random rant you went on where you called one of your FB friends everything except a child of God, your church pastor might have seen that.  That isn't too say that you should totally censor yourself but you have to post things as though a huge crowd can hear and/or see what you are doing and you have to be comfortable with that.

Then there's the people who think that they can be friends with anyone on Facebook.  If we aren't/weren't friends in the real world, what makes you think I want to be friends online?  I have personally received FB friend requests from people who were mean or ill-willed toward me when I've encountered them and I know of real life friends of mine who have also received such awkward friend requests.  Why in the word would anyone want to be your friend on FB if you are are/were one of the person's worst enemies and there were no attempts made at reconciliation?  The only reason why I see someone would even do this is to pry into the life of someone else by viewing Facebook posts.  They know that they could not just call the person up and say "How has your life been?" so they resort to such methods.  The only other reason I see is that they have a very bad or less impacted memory.  Somehow the memory of them punching you in the throat in high school was lost or from their perspective simply became water under the digital bridge. 

Old School Tunes

It's a reasonable assumption that everyone has their personal definition of old school music.  For me personally, I consider everything from about when I could first remember to my first years in high school to be old school.  So that would be 90s music for the most part.  Music from that era has this nostalgic sound to it that instantly takes me back to childhood and makes me almost vividly re-live old memories.  I grew up in a poor, black neighborhood in the Mississippi Delta.  There were 3 primary forms of music being listened to and broadcast whether you wanted to hear it or not.  There was the Blues which was very popular probably with my mom's generation and above.  The other two were Rap and R&B which were very popular with my generation and a generation somewhere between mine and my mom's.  I wasn't any exception to that rule.  I still love a good 2Pac album like 'All Eyez on Me' but for some reason the melodies of the old R&B songs are more nostalgic for me. 

After growing up, going to college, and seeing more of the world, I now listen to a much wider variety of music than I did as a child. Whenever I listen to Rap or R&B though, the music today just isn't the same as it once was.  What do you consider old school?  What creates that nostalgia for you?

Friendship Lost

Have you ever wondered what happened between you and that close friend you had years ago? Why do you rarely talk to that person any more, if at all? What went wrong? Well, there's a couple of things to consider here.

First of all, have you looked in the mirror? Many of us do, in fact, evaluate ourselves when we start to lose grasp on a valued friendship but do we really evaluate ourselves properly as far as being good friends. Am I treating this person in a way that I would want a friend to treat me? Have I been there for that person in his or her time of need when a REAL excuse didn't exist? Have I attempted to be a positive influence in his or her life despite the existence of negativity and adversity in my own life? If the answer to any of these questions is "no", you probably have not been a good friend lately.

Second, friendship is a two way street. Now you should examine the other person even if you find fault with yourself. It's possible that he or she is guilty of not being a good friend as well. As with any good relationship, each person should put energy into it or it will get imbalanced and dissolve. Ask yourself all the questions about your old friend that you asked about yourself. If your answer to any question is "no", the same thing applies. Although it should be obvious after asking yourself all these questions, also ask if this person ONLY contacts you to ask a favor and doesn't seem genuinely interested in how you are doing.

If you truly value your friendship, you should make changes if needed with yourself. If your old friend seems to not be upholding his or her half of the friendship, you should address them about it even if it is a little uncomfortable and awkward. You don't want to have regrets about your effort in saving the relationship in the future even if it couldn't be salvaged. Life is short.

Besides the length of life, there is one other aspect of life that is certain and that is change. Unfortunately that means that some friendships won't stand the test of time no matter the effort put into them. Friends sometimes simply grow apart primarily due to changes in interests, locations, careers, and family life.

Blogging

So I thought I'd try this blogging thing out.  I like to write and I think I have a strong enough opinion on most things.  I had a couple of friends of mine who started blogs years ago and had some pretty good stuff on them.  I was always hesitant mostly because I never thought it was the thing for me.  My life has changed and my willingness to give my opinion has changed since then.  Heck, if God is willing I will be 30 years old next year.  It's time to try some new productive things.

Hope you enjoy my writing.